Growing up, my parents would always take us out to a U-Cut Christmas Tree lot where we’d tramp around for an hour or so until we found some enormous Douglas Fir that would eventually swallow an entire third of our (generously sized) living room. It would usually be somewhere around eleven or twelve feet tall, if memory serves. And every year we could count on the traditional battle between mom and dad over how best to get said gargantuan tree into the house, into the tree stand, and remaining upright. Eventually it would get accomplished and, several hundred twinkling lights and ornaments and multiple hours later, we’d all be a happy, content family again as we basked in the festive glow of our decorated tree. My mom usually had a glass of wine in her hand for said basking.
I have managed to skirt this battle with Zach every year by taking advantage of local Groupon-esque deals for a home Christmas tree delivery service. The tree shows up on the doorstep, the friendly men put it in the stand for me, and Zach comes home from work to find it standing beautifully in our living room. However, there is one debate we’ve had repeatedly every single year. It’s regarding the lights on the tree. More pointedly, the size of the lights on the tree. Zach prefers the larger bulbs (think the size of the ones you put outside on your house). I am a fan of the traditional smallest-sized lights when it comes to Christmas trees. Apparently I have been winning the battle to some extent because we do not own any strands of the largest bulbs. We do, however, own nine strands of a medium-sized bulb and only six strands of the tiny lights. So maybe I’m not really winning.
Anyway, every year we have a debate over which size is going on the tree. Zach must have won this debate in years past because we don’t have enough strands of the smallest lights to cover the entire tree. Despite that, I still resist every year, thinking that the larger bulbs will look way to huge on the tree. And guess what: they look fine. So this year, after the squabble was over and I had given in and then seen that, yes, indeed, Zach’s choice of lightbulb size is, in fact, tolerable, I decided to take action to prevent this is future years. This is going in the tub of tree decorations:
It’s in my own handwriting specifically to avoid me accusing Zach of trying to put on over on me next year. What do you think, will it work?
The rest of the tree decorating went like this: