My Brilliant Plan To Make A Million Bucks

Bear with me as I share with you my oh-so-deeply-thought-out get rich quick scheme that occured to me in the shower this morning. You’re going to love it, I swear.

First some role playing. Pretend you are a mom (tough stretch for most of my reading audience, I’m sure).

Question A: What do you (like almost all moms) have?


1) kids
2) gray hair

Question B: What do you not have (or have in limited quantities)?


1) free time*
2) extra money*

*see question A, answer 1

So you go to the store, buy a box of hair dye and take it home where you spend forty minutes holed up in the bathroom, surfing for a good, steamy romance on your Kindle and breathing in all those wonderful hair dye chemical fumes while your hair turns to a lovely shade of brown. Except the gray ones; they turn orange. You call this “me time.”

What’s that? Go to a salon? Ain’t nobody got time for that! Or money! Were you paying attention to the questions? I mean, I even gave you the answers. Sheesh.

The problem? You smell like those chemicals for the next 2 days.

The solution (Finally! I’m getting to the point!):

Make those little tubes of after-dye conditioner that come in the box smell good.

I will wait while you all applaud and cheer my brilliance.


That’s it? You can clap more than that. C’mon. Seriously, I’ll wait.

Ok, fine. Moving on then. Yes, scented conditioner is my big idea. Rosemary mint would be my particular choice but, really, anything would be an improvement of the status quo. Are you reading this Clairol? Good. Now go put my royalties check in the mail. I expect to see this on the shelves at Target STAT. (And then I expect to spend every cent of my royalties at Target. Because, you know, it’s Target).

5 thoughts on “My Brilliant Plan To Make A Million Bucks

  1. Any chance this will be on the shelves by TOMORROW? My Mother’s Day gift to myself is carving out some time to dye my hair. And while you’re brainstorming, could you maybe ask them to include some kind of wipes to remove hair dye stains from my face?

  2. Haha, I know exactly what you’re talking about! Lately I’ve been plucking my gray hairs but soon there will be too many to do that. And you know you cannot color your hair unless someone is with you because the minute you get on the phone or go in the bathroom it’s like a siren for the kids to come running! 🙂

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