Things You Never See Coming

A brief compile of moments I have encountered as a mom that I never, ever, would have seen coming:

1) Immediately after putting toothpaste on your toddler’s toothbrush, said toddler begins brushing her hair with it. Mind you, this in only about the 100th time she has brushed her teeth – so it’s not like it’s a new concept or anything.

2) On a separate tooth-brushing occasion, said toddler discreetly applies hand soap to her toothbrush and then begins brushing her teeth. You don’t realize what has happened until you get close to help her brush and smell Dial soap instead of fruity toddler toothpaste. Oddly, she didn’t seem bothered by the taste at all…

3) That a trip to the grocery store alone will feel the way a 3 day vacation used to. I’m not even remotely exaggerating this.

4) The moment when you hold up your sick infant in front of you and she sneezes…directly into your open mouth. There is no amount of mouthwash or Vitamin C that will save you from the cold that will result from this direct inoculation.

5) How often you will feel the urge to call and apologize to and/or thank your own mom for raising you and still loving you despite the fact that you were once a toddler.

6) How often you will have to suck it up and say “you were right” to your own mom. About, you know, pretty much everything. I’m just hoping this still holds true some day when MY girls become moms…

7) How oddly creepy it is when you are breastfeeding your newborn daughter and suddenly realize how much she looks like your brother. I always did think he would make a really pretty girl though.

8) That moment when you change your first daughter’s diaper for the first time and she pees all over you. I think my exact words were: “Ah!! I thought only boys did that!!”

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